Toddler tantrums

Your toddler throws a tantrum in the supermarket – so what do you do? You know your kids best, so you’re in a good position to be able to spot what leads up to a tantrum and either avoid it happening or deal with it effectively. Tantrums are your toddler’s way of expressing their frustrations of being a toddler – and their tantrums can be frustrating for mums and dads too.

But armed with your own strategies and understanding of tantrums in general, you can stay in charge and support your toddler in learning better ways to communicate.

No more tantrums – a longer term strategy
Help – I get annoyed when she has a tantrum
Tips to understand your toddler’s tantrum triggers

Why does my toddler have tantrums?

If your child is throwing lots of tantrums it may help to analyse why they are happening and what your toddler learns from each tantrum. If you give your toddler attention for having a tantrum, the next time they want your attention they might repeat the tantrum. Ask yourself the following:

1. What triggered the tantrum? You could avoid the checkout with the sweets if you’re shopping, distract them or involve them by giving them a way to help you. Access tips to understanding your toddler’s tantrum triggers.
2. What did your child do during the tantrum? Your priority is to make sure your child is safe. Don’t be embarrassed – tantrums happen to all parents.
3. How did you react? Stay firm and ignore the behaviour. Don’t argue or reason.
4. Once the tantrum is in retreat, reassure your child and carry on with what you were doing before.
5. What was the outcome?

No more tantrums — a longer term strategy

Praise your child when you see them doing something well. Be clear and calm about what you expect.

Help — I get annoyed when she has a tantrum

You’re in good company – mums and dads do find it tough seeing their tot get upset.

• Try going off to another room for a few minutes to allow yourself time to calm down if you feel like you’re reaching the end of your tether.
• Keep calm: you’re in control, you can choose how to deal with their tantrum
• Remember you can talk to your Health Visitor about your child’s behaviour and how you are dealing with it.

Tips to understand your toddler’s tantrum triggers

• Look out for and try to avoid common triggers like your toddler being tired, hungry, or excessively hot or cold – just as you would normally.
• Your child will have his or her own flashpoints. Experienced mums know that a child’s tantrum triggers will be different to their sibling’s.
• You’ll probably find that your toddler’s tantrum triggers change and develop. Try to deal with new ones calmly as they appear.

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